Monkey Knife Fight 2023

Celebrating the toughest, gnarliest, steepest, brutalest, ridiculousest roads you'll ever ride while raising money to help kids, Monkey Knife Fight Against Cancer returns on Saturday, April 1st (not a joke!), with 3 distinct ride length options, all with lots of climbing over the steep & dirty hills south of Emmaus, PA. 

Proceeds benefit Dream Come True, who fulfill the dreams of kids with a life-threatening illness or an illness that has significantly altered their lifestyle. 

THIS IS NOT A RACE It's a charity ride. Which also means no refunds, so consider using BikeReg's registration insurance. Transfers are allowed. You can do that through BikeReg.

WHAT'S IT LIKE? This... http://vimeo.com/39394348 and this... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp-7juk6Spc and you can learn lots about it at @RideMonkeyKnifeFight and on our Facebook page, too.

WHAT ABOUT THE RIDE? This is not a race! It is a social ride, because misery does love company. Most of it is paved, with dirt road "sectors" that are as sharp as any knife you'd ever find on a monkey. It will be marked, cue sheets will be provided and GPS files are available, so you don't need to keep up with those who keep a hard tempo going. And there are options to make the course shorter (and avoid some of the truly brutal climbs). 

THREE ROUTES TO CHOOSE FROM Check out the routes to see what you're in for. Just don't poke yourself in the eye looking at all the pointy bits on the elevation profile. These routes are subject to change, so don't upload them to your devives until right before.

• GORILLA: 72 miles and 8 categorized climbs
• BABOON: 50 miles and 5 categorized climbs
• MARMOSET: 31 miles and 2 categorized climbs

START/FINISH LOCATION Emmaus Community Park is where you'll start climbing from (and pretty soon) and descend into—no matter what route you ride.

SIGN-IN OPTIONS Check in at the Park Pavillion to sign the waiver, get your number and swag anytime between 7:30 and 10am. Or you can take care of all this on Friday evening at South Mountain Cycles in Emmaus for our pre-fight party!

NO MASS-START You can start anytime between 8-10am after you check-in, sign the waiver and get your number.

AID STATIONS Gorilla & Baboons will go by the St. John Hill Church up to to 3 times. There will hydration, prepackaged snacks, porta-johns, and your drop bags.

• Drop Bag Info: Pack a bag of whatever you'll want in a well-marked bag and leave it with us at the start and we'll bring it to the aid station and back to the finish. Likewise you can dump some stuff in the car to be driven back to the finish. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for any of that stuff. Mark it well. Remember to get it at the finish or it will get donated.
• Use this spot wisely: Don't expect a lift back if you're tired. If you're cooked at the stop, consider skipping a categorized climb (or 2, or 3). It's still a healthy ride back to Emmaus from there.

There will also be hydration available at mile 22 for Marmosets, mile 41 for Baboons and mile 62 for Gorillas.

HYDRATION WILL BE "DRY" This event has a history with, shall we say, "spirited" and "hoppy" aid stations, but we are turning off the taps, so to speak. They'll still be fun, lively and filled with delicousness so make sure you stop to refuel properly. And there will be plenty of New Trail Brewing Co. beers at the Finish. So get to the finish safe & sound!

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU Carry what you need if you have a mechanical. You will be expected to fix your own flats and do minor repairs. No follow vehicles or outside support vehicle of any type will be allowed as it is unsafe to have a caravan of vehicles following the ride. Sorry, not sorry.

NO REFUNDS All funds go to Dream Come True and their kids are the ones who need a break the most. However, if you realize you might have, or have been exposed to, COVID-19 let us know before starting and we will refund you to protect everyone else.

"I CAN WIN A PRIZE? BUT YOU SAID THIS IS NOT A RACE!!!" True, but we are going to have some swaglicious stuff available to win! Here's how it works...

• You get a raffle ticket for starting.
• You get a raffle ticket for making it to the top of each categorized climb that you ride.
• At the post-party: Write your name on the ticket and drop it in the bag for the prize you want to win.
• There will be drawings at 2pm, 3pm, 4pm and 5pm.
• Hopefully you'll win something swaggy from one of our Sponsors!

THERE'LL BE A POST-PARTY Get back to Emmaus for the tasty suds, food truck, and a LIVE Sposorific Swagtastic Raffle! Plus it's the best time to comisserate about the climbs with your friends, old and new.

Have any questions? Give us a shout, follow @RideMonkeyKnifeFight, and the Facebook Page and Event Page for banter and updates.
In the meantime stay healthy, safe and sane!
-Dave & Keith, and a whole slew of great monkees